I've never heard my wife pray.
We've been together for 15 years, been a part of ministry for 5, and led countless small groups....yet, I've never heard her pray out loud. As a family, we pray every morning before work, before every meal, before bed and a few times in between...but I've never audibly heard her pray. To some, this may seem like spiritual immaturity. My question is, what constitutes "spirituality"?
A couple weeks ago, my wife and I were at a Tim McGraw concert. Throughout the night, I felt myself becoming increasingly annoyed at the people around me. The beer garden was getting plenty of attention, we saw multiple drug usage and drug transactions, and the balance and speech of those around me became more and more unstable. I was about to complain about those around me, until my wife said one sentence that made me stop.
"I wonder how many people here know Jesus?"
I've never heard my wife pray, but I see the affects of her prayer life. I've never heard my wife pray, but I feel the power of her spirituality.
I've been blessed with having the opportunity to speak to over a thousand people about my testimony, shared my faith with hundreds of students in multiple cities, and helped counsel multiple at-risk teens and adults. But on the surface, does that label me a "spiritual" person? In my heart, I know who my Savior is, but on the outside those actions could just mean I like to hear myself talk. Someone may have a Bible full of highlighted and underlined verses, but that may just mean they are good at coloring. I've heard people who were so eloquent when they prayed, praying for everything under the sun for what seemed like ages and using words that I felt the need to Google later, only to see how their life didn't match the words that they spoke.
My wife walks the walk, without the talk.
I have come to realize that it's not the number of people who hear you pray, not the length of your prayers, or the need to perfectly script your words. It's WHO you are praying to that's important. My wife gets that. I don't know why my wife won't pray out loud, but I don't care. That's not what matters. Her life has been a walking prayer. I know thousands and thousands of prayers have gone up to God on my behalf, said by my wife. The change in my life has been a direct result of Krystal's prayers for me. When I was too ashamed to pray, she continued to pray. When I was too weak to pray, her prayers got stronger. At the moment I was about to end it all, she interrupted it because "something told me to come home." If my wife's prayer life wasn't in tune, I don't know what would have happened.
I've never heard my wife pray, but her prayers saved my life.
I've heard multiple people say "I wish I was as spiritual as (insert person here)." Spirituality isn't based on the way you say a prayer, the way you highlight your Bible, the amount of people you've spoke in front of, or even the way you say your prayers. My personal relationship with Jesus Christ is how I define myself. It's not what I know, it's who I know. If you feel you can't measure up to the prayers said out loud by others, don't get discouraged. It's not about that. Talk to God as you would talk to your best friend. That's all that matters. It's not about how great your prayers are, it's about how great your God is. Talk to Him, not me.
As others look towards the preachers on TV, the pastors in their church, the leader of their small group, the guy with the Bible painted all in different colors, or the speaker giving a "perfectly" worded prayer and think "I have a long way to go, " I look at my wife, kneeling quietly by our bedside, head pressed into the covers and sometimes with a trace of a tear coming out of her eye, as she talks to her Savior, and I silently think:
I wish I could be that spiritual.
