Born This Way

When I was little, I heard a story that has still stuck with me to this day.  Although the details are a little sketchy, the main point of the story is something I still think about. 

There was a lady ready to cook her first pot roast.  She was asking help from her Mom and as they were preparing it, the mom told her to cut both ends off the pot roast before putting it into the pan.  The lady asked her Mom "Why are we doing this?  There is about 3 inches of meat that is being wasted."  The mom thought about this for a minute and said "I don't know, my mom always did it this way."  Both ladies became curious about the orgin of cutting the ends off the pot roast.  After trying to deduct why this happens, they decided to call the Grandma.  "Grandma, why did you teach us to cut off the ends of the pot roast?"   After a bit of laughter from the Grandma, she answered "We never had a pan big enough to fit the roast, so we cut the ends off." 

All this time, valuable meat was wasted.  Why?  Because these ladies never questioned it, and performed the task a certain way because they were taught that way. 

How many things in our life are secondhand to us, because "we were taught this way"? 

For those of you who are close to me, you know that I'm not shy about my love for Jesus Christ.  On a daily basis, I try and talk about how much He means to me and share my testimony with others.  For those of you who really know me, you know that it always hasn't been this way. 

I grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  My Dad was always in a position of leadership in our church while  was growing up.  One thing about my Dad, if you don't know him, is that his faith is strong.  My parents know both the Bible and Book of Mormon very well.  When ever I had a question, I could go to them and they always had an answer.  I never questioned my faith, because that's all I knew.  That's how I was raised.  

When I was 23, my oldest brother and I became very close.  We both lived in a state away from all other family.  By that time, my brother had already committed his life to Christ, and one night he sat down with me and talked about his faith.  I'll never forget the verse that he showed me in the Bible:

“For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord,

every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”

Romans 14:11-12

The last sentence really caught my attention.  Every one of us shall give account of himself to God.   I realized that this whole time, I never had a testimony of my own.  I always lived off the testimony of my parents.  My parents were so strong in their faith, that I just rode their testimony and claimed it as my own.  I will always love and appreciate my brother for showing me this verse. 

My brother planted a seed in my mind.  I had to gain a testimony and belief in Jesus Christ on my own.  I realized that if I was to die today and I was at the feet of Jesus, I couldn't say "I lived this way because I was raised this way". 

I will be honest.  It took me a year and a half of taking apart the entire Bible before I gained a belief of my own.  By far, it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and that includes wrecking my life during my addiction.  Why?  Because I had to change my entire way of thinking.  I had to take 23 years of knowledge and sift through it, dig deep and through much prayer, come up with my own testimony. 

I've learned through reading that God will hold you responsible for the knowledge that you have, and the knowledge that you don't have. 

We live in a time of urgency.  We never know when we will be at the feet of Jesus.  But we can prepare.  One of these days we will all have to make an account for our actions, our words, our beliefs.   How well do we know Jesus?

We have to ask ourselves this question:  Do I know about Christ, or do I have a relationship with Him?  No matter how you were raised, whether it be Catholic, Buddhist, Mormon, Christian, or Atheist, we all have to hold an account of our own life.  We won't have our friends, or other members of our church, or our family to fall back on when Jesus holds us personally accountable.   

To gain a testimony of our own doesn't come from just knowing the Bible by heart, or memorizing sermons.  A true testimony comes from the revelation of God.  Get on your knees.  Ask God for guidance and discernment.  Start a dialogue with Him.  Do the only thing He asks of you:  start a relationship with Him.

Move from knowing "about" Jesus, to knowing Jesus. 

Too Messy?

"God could never use me, I'm too messed up."

How many times has this thought crossed your mind?  I know with me, I have thought that a lot.  This is tough for me to admit, but here goes.  My life is a mess.  For as long as I can remember, I knew that there was a God and had a longing to know Him better.  I have wanted to be a godly person, but when I look back on my life what I mostly see is a broken, crooked path littered with mistakes and failure. 

I want to be a good person.  I don't intend to fail.  I want to learn from my mistakes, rid my life of all distractions, and run into the arms of Jesus.  Yet most of the time, I feel like I am running 100 mph in the wrong direction.  Running away from Jesus and into the arms of my own life.  My own mess. 

My dreams seem like they should have me tagging along behind Jesus, wanting and needing for him to choose me as one of his disciples.  Without warning, he turns around, looks straight into my eyes, and says "Follow me."  My heart drops as I start to run after him, then he stops me and says "Oh, not you.  I was talking to the guy behind you."

Based on what I just said, how could I be a Youth Pastor?  How can someone whose life seems so unspiritual, talk to others about following Christ?  How can God use someone with so many faults to lead others to Him?  I constantly read about all these spiritual, perfect people in the Bible.  Oh wait....

Let's take a closer look at the Bible.  It's pages overflow with messy people.  Take Noah for example.  God called on this man to carry on the existence of the world.  Yet, everyone thought he was crazy.  He probably was a little strange, but he was also courageous, a man of great faith, and had a very strong will.  Against the unrelenting ridicule of all those around him, Noah built a huge boat in the middle of desert because God told him to.  The rains came, the flood happened, and after the water receded, Noah triumphantly left the boat.....and got drunk and got naked.   Noah was the model of great faith, but also had a losing battle with wine.  Yet, he is listed in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews. 

David was also a brilliant, God-loving, courageous, loyal man.  The same David that conquered Goliath was the same David that took another man's wife, impregnated her and then had her husband killed.  Yet, this is the same David that God called "a man after my own heart". 

Turns out all of the biblical characters were a complex mix of strengths and weaknesses that failed to reach perfection.  All but one.  Let's take a look at Him. 

The only people that Jesus hung out with were seemingly perfect people who had their lives together, right?  No.  Jesus hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, adulterers, mental cases, and losers of all kinds.  You might say Christianity has a tradition of messy spirituality.  Messy prophets, messy kings, messy disciples, messy apostles.  Guess what?  We are no different. 

God doesn't want us to get our lives together before coming to Him.  So many people think that God can't use them, or they are too broken for God.  "If only I could become a better person, then God would accept me."  All God uses are messy people.  Why are we any different?  I have breaking news.  Get ready for this.......  No one is perfect.  There was only one perfect person to ever walk this earth, and He died for your messy life.  He knew that you can't keep your life clean, so He gave his life instead. 

Spirituality is not a test, it's not a formula.  It's a relationship.  Spirituality is not about competency, it's about intimacy.  Most importantly, spirituality is NOT about perfection, it's about connection.  Connection with Jesus. 

Let go of seeking perfection and trying to become better before coming to Christ.  Let go of getting down on yourself because of your imperfections.  Stop trying to fix yourself.  Spirituality is not about being fixed, it's about God being present in our life despite our imperfections. 

When we come to terms with our messy life and realize that God can use us, and wants to use us despite of our mess, that's when the real fun begins.   That's when the real Jesus meets the real us.