To Save a Life

This has been a tough week for some people that I love deeply.  I would like to share a story that I have held in confidence, in the hopes that it will help someone out that may be struggling tonight.

I know a story of a guy that was once in a deep, very dark place.  For years he had been battling with an addiction that consumed him.  I deal with men every week that struggle with addictions and who have to fight the demons inside just to make it through the day.....but this guy was different.  I was close to him.  He would fight the addiction and be "normal" for a few months, and then everyone would hear about his fall.   Again and again this happened.  He would go to bed praying that God would just take this away, and he would promise himself and God that this would be the last night he gave in to the temptations.  Tomorrow would be different.

Tomorrow wasn't different.  He would wake up and the cycle would start all over again.  This man had a family that loved him and he was tearing them apart, pushing them away.  He would promise his family over and over again that this time would be different.  But it was never different.  Empty promises is all his wife heard.  Finally she had enough and brought home divorce papers for him.  This man could see it in his wife's face and eyes that she was as good as gone. 

When you wake up with no hope, it is tough to even get out of bed.  This man had zero hope inside him.  If only he could just open his eyes, he would have witnessed the beauty around him....but all he saw was the empty pit consuming him.  His wife loved him.  His daughter loved him.  He hated himself. 

One morning he woke up and finally realized something: He had no hope.  For years he would beg his wife to stay with him, to not leave.  Today was going to be different.  He told his wife to pack up his little girl and leave.  He told his wife that he would grant the divorce, but just to leave him alone for the night and tomorrow he would find somewhere else to live.  He just wanted one night alone.  So, she grabbed the little girl and got in the car and drove away. 

His mind was made up.  He wouldn't need to find a new place to stay tomorrow...he wouldn't be alive tomorrow.  With every fiber in his body, he knew that this was going to happen.  No phone calls were made to say goodbye, no letters were written.  He was so serious, that he sent a text to his friend to be the first at the house in the morning before his family came back home.  He didn't want his family to find him first.  He was so serious, that he set a time...5:45.  As soon as the clock hit that, he was going into the garage and he would be gone.  

5:00 approached and he sat sobbing on his bed.  "God, this is your fault!!!.  You left me like this!!  You didn't take this away!!!" he yelled out loud with so much anger that his head felt like it was going to explode.  Cursing God over and over, he headed down the hall to the garage.  There was a door separating the inside of the house that led to the garage.  As he neared that, he said something that I will always remember "You weren't big enough for this problem, God."  It was almost time.  He opened the door and stared for a moment into the garage.  At that instance, he saw the garage door start to roll open.  It was his wife.  She was driving up into the garage and parked.  The man, still sobbing, broke down even more when she got out of the car and said "Something told me not to leave you."  

That was the last day that man touched another substance.

You may be going through something that you feel is too much for you to handle.  You may be waking up with no hope as this man once did.  All the problems seem to be coming at once, and God seems so far away.  You may be thinking that God doesn't care about you, and God doesn't see what you are going through. 

You are wrong.

God is the Creator of the Universe.  He knows the second you were born, the second you'll die, and EVERY second in between.  God created this world out of nothing and He can surely handle whatever problem that you are going through right now.  There is no problem too big for God.  He wants you to come to Him.  God is a God of Agape love.  He loves you unconditionally even if you don't love yourself right now.  If you feel you are at the end of your rope, don't keep holding on, let go and let God catch you.  Get help.  Some people are always looking back, focused on their hurts and their pain.  Some people are looking down, living in depression and hopelessness.  Try this.  Lift your eyes up.  Let God consume you with so much love and compassion that you will be lifted out of this dark hole.   

I love Jesus Christ so much.  I am so passionate about my love for Him, that some days I just can't shut up.  He is my Savior.  He is my Friend.  Give Him a chance.  I know that He won't disappoint you. 

How can I be so passionate about Jesus?  Because He opened that garage door for me.